29.Book Club: No Fixed Address (an amorous journey) - Aritha van Herk

This was Erin's pick for our October book club.

I'm actually surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did because it is a character driven novel and I haven't had very much luck with this type of literature. I think because a lot of the time, with a character driven novel you have to be able to relate to the character, or what the character is going through. And if you don't have that spark of connection you end up having a book that doesn't really go anywhere plotwise and (if you're in my brain) a whole lot of boredom ensues.

In some ways it scares me that I "got" Arachne ... I think because in my brain that means that I am like her and I don't want to be. In my rational moments I know that you can understand someone without being that person, it's called empathy or sympathy or whatever. But this week has been all about being irrational and insecure and I feel that, like Arachne, I am destined to keep running away. In a sense I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I feel connected to how Arachne feels as opposed to how she acts in the world.

These two passages really hit home for me:
"There, for one chaotic moment, she wants to run. She does not belong here. She will never belong here. ... If she goes now, he will never find out what she is like, he will remember her with pleasure." (p 92)

" 'I can't stay here forever' ...
She is temporary; he may not want to admit it, but she is unsuitable, and however he may be amused with her now he will eventually replace her. ... Did she honestly believe that she could fit into his life? She can almost chuckle at her own postponed self-deception." (p109)

I know those feelings. Like you're never going to be good enough. Like if you let people get to close eventually they are going to realize that you're not always funny, not always beautiful, not always poised and confident, not always whatever. And then they'll leave you. So maybe it is better to leave them first.