4. Tricksters Choice

I think I am secretly in love with Tamora Pierce. Seriously, every book I have read by her I have not been able to put down, and then once I am finished I sleep with the book beside my pillow for a few nights because I am just not quite ready to part with it yet. Is that sad?

Somehow, the characters just speak to me ... I identify with them because at the beginning they are lost and wondering what their purpose in life is as I wonder what my purpose in life is. And then something happens - like a god appearing in a dream and being all "Go here and do this" and they do and suddenly their existence makes sense and they are helping others and feeling fulfilled. Do I ever wish it was that easy in real life. Because here I am, 24 - to their usual 14,15, 16 - and I am still waiting for something to speak to me and point me in the right direction. And I know people older than I am who are also still trying to figure it out. I try to point myself in certain directions but all too often the ho hum realities of my actual existence require that I pay attention to the things I NEED to do to put food on my table and gas in my car and the time I squander away to nourish my dreams and desires are often stolen moments that occur all to infrequently. Hence the use of books for escapism because for just pennies a page I can steal away to some far off land that has little to do with my daily existence. And that is why I love Tamora Pierce, because she writes books that make it so easy for me to slip into a fantasy world - one paragraph and I am there.

This book got me to my nearest public library and I left with a shiny new library card in hand. I don't think I have had a library card in almost 5 years. That is a sad sad thing for the girl who used to spend hours in the library picking out books and even more hours poring over them. It made me realize that I need to refocus my energies and make reading more of a priority again - instead of wasting away in front of the TV and a lot of shows that bore me to no end and leave my brain sluggish instead of energized with imagination. (This is not to say that there are not shows that I love and adore because there are, and probably far too many of them, but that I should stop using the TV as background noise and end up watching programs that do nothing for me.)

Such a lot of accomplishments for one little book. I am excited to see what fantasy world I dive into next.

Book Club: To Kill A Mockingbird

I first read To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in highschool - I think it was Grade 11. And I have to be honest and say that I don't think I got it back then. I am not entirely sure that I "get it" now but I think it is more of a possibility at least.

All I really remember from that first reading and in class analysis is a lot of talk about Boo Radley ... the rape trial and the subsequent attack on the Finch children were blurrily familiar but no more than that. And I definitely think I missed more of the subtler nuances - like how the title of the book made sense with the plot of the novel itself.

Again I feel like I am stumbling along and not really adequately expressing what I want to say. I guess I feel that I have been mostly sheltered from extreme prejudice. I don't know that that actually means the world is becoming a more accepting place, only that the cruelties don't seem to be happening/hitting close to home. I attended a concert in honor of Black History Month last weekend; the choir had travelled to Namibia and South Africa. It reminded me that although sometimes it feels like the persecution of Black people and Black culture was ages ago it really was not that long ago. They related that in some of the smaller African communities there were still 4 public washrooms - one for white men, one for non-white women, one for non-white men and one for non-white women - a silent testimony that aparteid in some of those countries ended only 14 years ago. I have been brought up to respect people of all races and all cultures and that kind of persecution seems so foreign to me. I can't comprehend how you could hate, or look down on someone simply because the color of their skin is different than your own. I know that it happens and I am sure that sometimes it happens on an unconcious level ... and it makes me wonder if I am always as fair and as open minded as I try to be. I guess the point is that I am trying?

The other thing that surprises me is that this beautiful book is still on a list of frequently challenged/banned books. I guess that means we haven't come as far as we need to if people can still fear the power of these words. In my opinion, any book that challenges our world view and makes us think about how we are treating others now, and how we have treated others in the past is worth reading, is worth praising, is worth passing on.

And so we have a tale of friendship and love and human dignity that moved me so much more the second time I read it that it will stay on my shelf to be re-read a third and maybe a fourth time. Maybe on those readings I will be able to find better words to express myself with.

a) Two to Tangle

Sometimes a girl (this girl, anyways) just needs a trashy romance novel in her life.

Two to Tangle was given to me by Sarah & Beth the summer I was in the hospital. I think they figured that something light and steamy would be just what I needed for a little pick me up. They sure hit the jackpot with this one.

I have always been a sucker for a good romance and I seem to especially like ones with a mistaken case of identity. I think that sometimes I just need to live vicariously through a fictional character; especially one who, despite a few minor (or major) hiccoughs along the way, hooks up with the man of her dreams and merits a super cheesy happy ending. My romantic entanglements have been anything but happily ever after and these books serve to remind me that maybe it is possible. Even if it is only in a fictional world.

3. Treasure Island

Let's try this again.

We'll start with a comment on how I feel unable to articulate my thoughts properly. I guess part of the reason for this whole blog is to a) practice critical reading on my part and b) firm up my writing skills and my ability to express myself on paper. So things might seem fumbling and experimental in these first posts and maybe they will never progress to the level I think they should but it's an exercise and we'll see how things go. Part of my problem is that I don't want to just write up a summation of the plot, I want to explore how the book made me feel or what it made me think of, I want to dig deeper. Sometimes I think that maybe there is no deeper, maybe there is only the surface ... but when I think like that I also hope that maybe I missed something.

I've noticed that I tend to start with a short explanation of why I read the book I am discussing/how it came to be on my bookshelf. I don't exactly know why that is important but it seems to be so we'll start no differently today. Although I must admit that I am not sure where Treasure Island came from. Usually someone recommended the book or I liked the title or it is for book club or I like the author or whatever. But I have no strong memory of any of those things. It is like the book just appeared on my shelf one day and I realized I had never read it and things went from there. Not knowing, or not remembering, why I originally wanted to read Treasure Island may have something to do with the apathy I seem to feel towards it - to be honest I just want to write "meh" and be done with it. It's not that it wasn't a good book, or poorly written. I guess it just didn't grip me in any immediately identifiable way. I didn't love the characters, I didn't envision myself in the setting, I didn't find anything specific to relate to. I also kind of felt "been there, done that" not in the sense that I had actually been there, done that (maybe "been there, read that" would be better?) ... maybe I have read other books that were based, however loosely, on this one? And it didn't help that I had some problems with the language ... especially when Long John Silver was talking. It's like my brain took the words on the page and turned them into gobbledygook and it was immensely frustrating. It's like when someone mumbles and you know that they are speaking English and the words should make sense but there is just some processing barrier and you feel like you have this blank look on your face while you try to make heads or tails of the situation. And eventually maybe you just don't want to talk to that person anymore. That is kind of how I felt - that I just didn't want to have to try so hard to make sense of a book that didn't really enlighten me anyways. Now, I know that I often feel that way at the beginning of a Shakespeare play, but usually one act in and I have developed a rhythm and things start to flow. I just never found my stride in Treasure Island I guess.

The one highpoint was that I kept hearing Johnny Depp as Cap'n Jack Sparrow in my head while I was reading and anything that makes me think of Cap'n Jack can't be all bad.

2. Nights of Rain and Stars

Apparently most of my friends are shocked and appalled that prior to this I have never read anything my Maeve Binchy. Not as shocked and appalled as they were when they found out I hadn't read any Austen (and I call myself an English major) but it was a pretty close second. I guess they just figured that because she mostly writes about Ireland and I am fairly entranced with the Green Isle that she would be an author I would naturally gravitate to.

I was reading this when I was at my parents on Monday and my grandparents came over for supper and they saw my book and they too raved on and on about Binchy and how they loved this book and how between their household and one of my aunt's they had all her books and ... well, it was a little weird frankly, but also kind of cool. There aren't that many common links between me and my grandparents and to find one in such an unexpected place made me realize how little I actually know them.

This book was set in Greece and it awoke all those feelings that I had pushed aside when I realized my dream of travelling there in 2006 was unlikely to become a reality. I am still saving and hoping against hope but it just seems that everytime I turn around there is another major financial commitment that I can't get out of (moving home is not an option). The descriptions in the passages made me feel like I was in Greece and made me yearn to be in Greece. I am a reader who gets easily swept away by details - I guess you could say I have a very vivid imagination and when I read I like to create pictures in my minds eye. It helps to take me away from the ordinariness of everyday life. Nights of Rain and Stars was an excellent mode to escapism. It was exactly what I needed after the Orwell piece. And I think I will be picking up more books by Binchy in the near future.

In some ways it was rather predictable. But sometimes you (or at least I) need a book that has a happy ending. And I didn't feel that the predictability was forced. For the most part it felt natural and right that the characters would make the decisions that they did. Some authors can make that "fate" feeling come across as forced but here everything just seemed to sit right. Inevitable but right.