32. Book Club: The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

Kristy's pick for November book club.

I actually first heard about this book the summer of 2004 when I was in Vancouver and my friend Joanne couldn't stop raving about how great it was. And really that seems to be the consensus of everyone I have talked to about this book - they all loved it even more than they had been told they would. For some reason, I just didn't have the same experience. I mean, it was a good book. No doubt about it. It kept me interested and I appreciated the complexity of the storyline but ... I don't know.

I think part of the problem may be that I just have issues with the idea of time travel in general.
And I probably over think the whole concept, I'm the first to admit it, but the fact that I can't suspend my disbelief makes it a lot harder to enjoy the story. It's silly. Because I could get over the whole chrono-impaired and gene mutations but I couldn't deal with the time traveling. Maybe because the whole "logic" that time travel almost has to be based in means that elements of fate or destiny have to play a larger role in life than I am comfortable giving them credit for. Think about it: It's 2005 and you're 30. You go back in time 15 years so it is 1990, a time that has already happened, so that means that in the past you were there which means that in the future you have to go back there because once something has happened it can't unhappen. And it is very circular. And I don't know if I am explaining myself properly or even explaining why I find it problematic but I do.

I also think that if I was Clare I would hate to have known who I was going to marry so early. To not really have a choice in the matter, because here is this guy coming from the future who says that he is married to you. So how do you know that if Henry hadn't been a time traveller that if/when she met him in the future she still would have loved him? It can be assumed that she loved him because he came back in time and told her that she did in the future and that might be fair and good. I guess I just wonder how you can be sure that she ended up with Henry for the right reasons. Not that I necessarily know what the right reasons are. But how do you know? It's such an irrational question and I've been told that you just have to have faith, and you just know and other such unsatisfactory answers. And I find it strange that I am making such a huge deal out of it because usually I am not the black & white girl and am totally ok with shades of grey but when it comes to matters of the heart I seem to want everything to be factual and straightforward when by its' very nature love is not like that. And I know this but I am having a hard time accepting it and it was one of the points of the story that kind of drove me crazy. Because maybe she should have dated Gomez or some other guy that didn't get mentioned and maybe they would have made her as happy as Henry did. If not happier because they wouldn't have been disappearing all the time.

31. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

This is my pick for our January book club meeting. I know, it is revolutionary .. I read a book well before the meeting AND I'm writing about it. I guess I figured since it was my pick and I hadn't read it I should maybe do a trial run in case it was truly awful. I didn't really think that it would be because it came highly recommended by one of my friends who reads and she had done it in her book club. But one never knows.

I wanted a book that was a fairly quick read and something that was uplifting in some way shape or form. We've done a lot of heavier books this fall, either material wise or simply the weight of the book, and I wanted something a little lighter ... Plus with the Christmas season we're doing 2 books in January and I always find January to be such a blah month so a book that might instill a little hope seemed like the way to go. This book provided all those things.

The book is written fairly simplistically and there is only the one main character, Santiago, so it is easy enough to follow the plot: Santiago has a dream, he goes on a journey to find treasure, on his way there are people and events who help him or hinder him. But behind the simple storyline there are many levels of interpreting and learning and understanding and I think it is a mistake to brush this book off without taking some time to think about it. And possibly read it again.

In some ways I found it a little too "Follow your dreams; Listen to your heart" ... those lines, or variations of, are repeated quite frequently and part way through I was all "Ok, I get it already". But do I really? Am I listening to my heart? Am I following my dreams? Do I even know what my dreams are? I have vague inklings but I am scared that they are unattainable or I feel like I don't know how to go about even starting to achieve them or I worry that I will get rejected or told that I am silly for dreaming what I do. In that sense, Santiago still has a lot to teach me.

30. he's just not that into you - Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo

I am actually very surprised that I haven't written about this book yet because I actually finished it AGES ago .. But I think it might have been in my phase of being very lazy about updating. It's sad though because I remember that the whole time I was reading it I was thinking all these very witty things to say when I talked about it here and now they are wispy fragments of memory. But I will do my best.

See, I was determined not to read this book initially. There was so much hype and it was going to be so revolutionary and "everyone" was telling me that if anyone needed to read this book it was certainly me ... and I tend to not like doing things that "everyone" else thinks are good for me. Because I am stubborn and backwards like that. I'm working on it. But then I saw it on a shelf and it was pink (my downfall. how sad.) and 40% off and I was in a bad-boy space (again) and I decided it couldn't hurt anything. I didn't expect it to change my life but I thought it might just be worth picking up. So I did, telling myself the whole way home that I was going to hate it and it was going to be a lot of tripe and stereotyping all guys. And for the first few chapters I did kind of hate it.

But as I read more I could kind of see the broad point ... which I am not sure I can explain but was something along the lines of "people who treat you badly or in ways that make you feel inferior or not good about yourself are maybe not the best people to keep in your life and maybe you shouldn't make such an effort trying to keep those people so close". In a roundabout way. I didn't agree with every word and I thought that some of it was a lot of crap (I think I may have taken some of it too literally) but in the grand scheme of things I can accept where the authors were coming from. And again, in a broad sense, I can apply the book to my own life and say "yes, I am wonderful and fabulous in my own way and I deserve to be surrounded by people who will treat me like the Smart & Beautiful Girl(tm) that I am and I shouldn't have to chase people to get them to hang out with me and I shouldn't have to wait on people who don't respect me enough to be on time/call to say they are going to be late etc etc." Some days that mentality is a lot harder to hold on to but I am trying to live it and demand that respect. And I am also trying to be more respectful of others by responding to invitations as promptly as possible and being more aware of timelines and such. It's not always easy and I'm not always perfect but I'm making the effort.

I still think the book would be more aptly titled He's a Neanderthal who wouldn't know a good thing if it hit him square between the eyes; why are YOU still into HIM? Because the way it is now, the onus is still on the girl ... we're going to tell you that you are fabulous and you deserve better but there's still some reason that this guy or that guy just isn't into you and you should accept that and move on. And it is you, because one day that guy is going to meet some girl that he is into and suddenly become the amazing guy you always thought he could be if he made a little effort. That's the part I have trouble swallowing. But I can boil it down to this: That guy, for whatever reason, is treating you poorly. And you don't have to accept that. From anybody.

Coming Soon ....

30. He's Just Not that Into You
31. The Alchemist
32. The Time Traveler's Wife

I am making a valiant effort to get caught up and stay there.

29.Book Club: No Fixed Address (an amorous journey) - Aritha van Herk

This was Erin's pick for our October book club.

I'm actually surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did because it is a character driven novel and I haven't had very much luck with this type of literature. I think because a lot of the time, with a character driven novel you have to be able to relate to the character, or what the character is going through. And if you don't have that spark of connection you end up having a book that doesn't really go anywhere plotwise and (if you're in my brain) a whole lot of boredom ensues.

In some ways it scares me that I "got" Arachne ... I think because in my brain that means that I am like her and I don't want to be. In my rational moments I know that you can understand someone without being that person, it's called empathy or sympathy or whatever. But this week has been all about being irrational and insecure and I feel that, like Arachne, I am destined to keep running away. In a sense I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I feel connected to how Arachne feels as opposed to how she acts in the world.

These two passages really hit home for me:
"There, for one chaotic moment, she wants to run. She does not belong here. She will never belong here. ... If she goes now, he will never find out what she is like, he will remember her with pleasure." (p 92)

" 'I can't stay here forever' ...
She is temporary; he may not want to admit it, but she is unsuitable, and however he may be amused with her now he will eventually replace her. ... Did she honestly believe that she could fit into his life? She can almost chuckle at her own postponed self-deception." (p109)

I know those feelings. Like you're never going to be good enough. Like if you let people get to close eventually they are going to realize that you're not always funny, not always beautiful, not always poised and confident, not always whatever. And then they'll leave you. So maybe it is better to leave them first.